Adventure is facing new challenges, being
blown away and then digging it. From the first nine
days of Basic Playa Training (a blatant misnomer. There's nothing basic about it.) to the
first time you walk out on stage with infinitely more skill and confidence than you brought in, the
Insecto ArmyBugs are an experience you'll never quite leave behind. You develop characters that
stay with you for a lifetime. Basic
Playa Training é
Every day for nine
days, ArmyBug Basic Playa Training demands the best of every
mutant. And every night you'll party until dawn before staggering
back to camp in a haze. The first two
days of Basic Playa Training consist mainly of BS (Bodily
Survival). You'll discover muscles you never knew you had as you
unload supply trucks, build theme camps, a stage, and ridiculously
impossible works of art out in the middle of nowhere. New mutants also learn to
adjust, assemble and disassemble their XP-3000 supersoakers. They spend days on the
playa and have a chance to qualify for badges as marksmen, sharpshooters or experts. They learn to identify the kind of terrain just by the
color of the dirt. There's training in hand to hand sword
fighting, the art of ninja combat, water grenades, potato launchers,
antispectator missiles, pogo stick training as well as Nuclear, Biological, Chemical (NBC) Training which includes
crossing the playa in a sandstorm with a protective mask. And, lest they forget, more
BS. Between the first
day of Basic Playa Training and the 15 minute procession to the
Man, graduation, and the traditional
burning of the Man that mark the end of day nine, these freaks learn an incredible amount about the
ArmyBugs, and even more about themselves. They graduate in the best mental and physical shape of their lives. They've pushed themselves, they've become tougher and developed more discipline than they ever thought possible. They have become
mutants, ready to move on to bigger and greater adventures.
Infantry é
For Infantry
mutants, just getting to work every day is half the excitement. Whether they get there by
bumming rides, HMMWV (High Maintenance Mutant Wiggly Vehicle) or
taking the Metro, these soldiers are trained to make a powerful entrance. The training infantry
go through is diverse, to encompass all the situations and the many kinds of
clubs they are likely to face. They come prepared to meet whatever challenges they find. They can fight and survive in dense
city traffic as well as arid deserts. They traverse rivers and streams with hardly a second thought. Even mountain climbing isn't out of the question for these
well trained and highly skilled mutants. FireBugs é
The
Insecto FireBugs go where others fear to tread. That’s why
any hottie
who wears a FireBug on her skimpy uniform does so
with pride, confidence, and authority. It signifies that she is
assigned to the 666 FireBug Regiment, a flexible, highly
trained, and rapidly deployable fire force
with specialized skills that enables it to be employed against
a variety of civilian and special operations targets. FireBugs are all volunteers, and are usually the
finest hotties
on the scene. All FireBugs are multimedia qualified. As Chief of Staff General
MuTaytor said when activating 666 Ranger Battalion, "the Firebugs Battalion can do
things with its hands and weapons better than anyone…and
wherever the Battalion goes, it must be apparent that it is
the best." Multimedia é
You
click your web browser icon. You recheck your code. Your browser
launches - and then it's your turn. The cold reality hits you in the face and, suddenly one
click later, the only thing between you and the dreaded page not
found are 13 characters of text. And, of course, three hours of intense training that have thoroughly prepared you for this moment. Talk about a rush! Having successfully survived
web school, mutants graduate and are given their Multimedia icons.
Icons are a mark of courage, daring and skill. But web school is more than
a multimedia academy. It's a confidence school, a leadership school. And
mutants who complete the course leave with a greater respect for
how screwed up the internet really is and that Bill Gates
really is the antichrist. And that's something they have for the rest of their lives. Club Assault é
If you were one of those
wimps who thought Basic Playa Training was tough, you're probably not
Club Assault material. Every month the Club Assault School in
Hollywood, CA., hosts the Club Assault Challenge that consists of
finding out how many clubs you can get into to promote Insecto
shows all over Los Angeles. Among other skills, club assault qualification prepares
mutants to misdirect traffic on the ground and to blow away
civilians on the streets. In addition to showing off their individual skills,
mutants must work cohesively as a team. To prepare, teams put themselves through intense training. The competition is fierce and the win is a matter of pride. It's a true test of training, commitment and desire to win.
Club Assault is adventure at its best. Road
and Stagehands é
As
a roadie or stage rigger having just earned your antennae, step forward to the table and take on one of the greatest leadership challenges in the
ArmyBugs. You will be awarded with the coveted roadie rigger badge and receive exceptional
barter incentive. You will become a key member of the team supporting the
Band, Mutant Forces, 666th FireBugs Brigade and other specialized units. Your technical skills are essential for both personnel and equipment
transport. Imagine the challenge of rigging a gogo stands and
water cannons for transport to over 150 different clubs. Think of the tremendous service you will be providing as a member of the
roadie and stagehand community. Membership in this exciting career field can be yours with assignments available world wide. |