The
ArmyBugs represent the bleeding edge
in modern Guerilla Multimedia Warfare.
The mutant forces of the ArmyBugs
combine the latest genetic
enhancements along with state of the
art bio mechanical armor, cybernetic
implants, high capacity super soakers,
laser tag, multi spectrum lighting
arrays and tactical image targeting
systems. Deployed with the elite
hotties of the FireBug Corps, the
ArmyBugs instantly attract attention
and have maximum visual impact on all
civilians.
Alpha Testing Program é
Nobody gets to use this stuff before
you do. The ArmyBugs are the very
first to deploy the latest technology
in the field. You get first hand
experience perfecting and testing the
most mind blowing technology years
before it's deemed safe for public
use. Is that cool or what? And if you
tell anybody about it we'll have to
kill you. But that's cool. Your
experience will help make the galaxy a
better and more profitable place for
us all.
Bio Mechanical Technology é
BioMech.
Living technology. All ArmyBugs in the
field are fitted will the latest
BioMech Armor. These systems have the
latest graphical user interfaces and
integrate seamlessly with the
cybernetic implants, processors,
sensors and weapons systems and are
upgradeable in the field with minimum
downtime and preserve investment
in legacy systems and infrastructure.
The latest generation of BioMech Armor
has been enhanced with Chameleon and
Firefly DNA to enable deep cover
penetration of the rave scene. A
Paisley Parsing Program and UV indexer
fractalize audio input to allow
realtime DayGlo Paisley pattern
generation. Cybernetic
Implants é
Given
today's labor market and high quality
applicants we recognize that
we need to upgrade the infrastructure
and processing systems for maximum
productivity. Cybernetic implants
directly interface to standard neural
networks and enable direct hardware
interfaces to the system bus.
Users can now connect directly
to the galaxy wide web or military
network as needed. After service is
completed the implants can be left in
for direct connection to retail POS
systems giving you more advantage in
the service sector. Custom processor
modules are also available for most
civilian specialties. Genetic
Enhancements é
Face
it. With the unregulated experiments of
the early 21st century, the
right to life movement, and the
dominance of Camp Skynyrd it's a
genetic cesspool out there. We
carefully screen all applicants (and
if necessary sterilize them) for
recessive genetic anomalies. After
mapping any recessive genes they are
carefully excised and replaced with
new enhanced genes that make you
faster, stronger, smarter and better
looking than you were before. Processors é
Featuring
the latest Mutel Obtanium processors
the ArmyBugs have the fastest clock
rate available. Even totally brain
dead soldiers are able to operate
almost normally with minimal
assistance. And after service you can
easily be reprogrammed to fit into
many civilian service jobs. Even if
you're a little slow on the uptake
there is hope for you. And our special
emotional processors eliminate those
nasty bad feelings you can get when
you have to follow orders. Sensors é
The
ArmyBugs are also fitted with the very
latest ultrabrite LED arrays or
spudlamps. Civilians will see
you coming from miles away and will
quickly scurry away to avoid being
blinded by the multi spectral dazzling
emissions put out by these powerful
sensors. Enemy troops will also be
quickly assimilated by the power of
the force. Tactical
Image Targeting Systems é
These
state of the art systems enable
the ArmyBugs to immediately
respond to incoming missiles or
insults and launch a devastating
promotional counterattack. Our studies
have shown that most enemy soldiers
simply stare in disbelief and are
easily overwhelmed and subdued and
rarely is a shot even fired. When the
elite hotties of the Insecto FireBugs
are put into the field enemy troops
will line up begging to be
assimilated. No other service offers
even a remotely similar functionality.
The FireBugs are truly the state of
the art in modern guerilla multimedia
warfare. Visual
Services é
The ArmyBugs
offer the very latest, state of the
art visual services. Our promotional
campaigns arrive in the field with
stunning visual and fire displays that
instantly bring traffic and civilians
to a complete standstill and attract
maximum attention and media frenzies.
Even the most jaded reporter will
respond positively to help spread the
word. Even though an Insecto invasion
may appear to be a big budget
Hollywood special effects extravaganza
the ArmyBugs are all too real.
Resistance is futile. You will be
assimilated. Weaponry é
High
capacity SuperSoakers, bullhorns,
blinding LED arrays, and light sabers
are all part of the standard
multimedia weapons package that
soldiers take into the field. Even
though these are non-lethal weapons
they are completely devastating to
enemy reporters. Due to the highly
effective antics of the Insecto
FireBugs it is rare that a shot is
ever fired in anger. |