The world-famous Love Parade returns to San
Francisco for its second year here on Saturday, Sept. 24, which
means the local dance-music scene will flaunt its many colorful
feathers like a peacock in heat, on acid, while drunk. More than 20
homemade floats toting DJ-manned sound systems will entice the
public to boogie along the parade route from Market and Second
Street to Civic Center, which for one day only will magically
transform from its normal scene -- something like Calcutta -- into a
beautiful outdoor discothèque. As if that's not enough, beginning
today, club promoters all over San Francisco will host parties
during what's being dubbed "Love Week." But clubbing and parading is
sort of old hat in San Francisco, because we've always had a whole
lot to celebrate (helloooo, the Bay Area's only Hooters? [Dublin
doesn't count]). So in the interest of spicing up this week's
bacchanalian buffet, SF Weekly
presents its first annual Love
Week Scavenger Hunt.
The rules are simple: Do whatever it takes to obtain the
following items. The first Parader to show up at the SF Weekly
offices with the full list wins a handful of quaaludes, the
complete back issues of Jockey Slut, and a date with SF
Weekly Editor John Mecklin, who, believe it or not, loves trance
"Remix Lounge," Thursday and Friday,
Sept. 22-23, at Pyramind
Emeryville-based music technology magazine Remix presents
two days of classes and seminars geared toward demystifying the
process of making electronic music. After you've learned everything
there is to know in the first hour, rip, mix, and burn your track to
CD. You're a musician now!
Handsome Boy Modeling School, Friday, Sept. 23, at Club
Producers Prince Paul and local boy Dan the Automator comprise
the kitschy hip hop lounge act Handsome Boy Modeling School. Snatch
the Automator's cheesy fake mustache that he sports at HBMS
shows and incorporate it into your own look. Nothing says "party"
like whip-its and a mustache ride.
Afrika Bambaataa, Friday, Sept. 23, at DNA Lounge
Ex-gangbanger Bambaataa wrote the immortal hip hop anthem "Planet
Rock" and founded the Afrocentric Zulu Nation as a constructive
alternative to New York's street gangs. Become a
card-carrying member, hippie!
"Foreplay," Friday, Sept. 23, at Space 550
Oakland-based alternative fuel activists/Brazilian funk band Bat
Makumba is a highlight on this eclectic list of performers, which
also includes the Mutaytor (an improvisational jam session of 25
world musicians), beat-boxer Kid Beyond, and the South Asian beats
of Janaka and MC Colonel. Siphon a cup of vegetable oil out
of Bat Makumba's tour bus.
Miscellaneous locations (e.g., costume shops, S/M stores, your
little sister's toy chest)
Procure the following items for your Love Parade ensemble:
animal-shaped backpack, assless chaps, candy
necklace, neon necklace, severed-ear necklace,
beer-can baseball cap, pacifier, bib, Gerber
apple sauce, Super Soaker water gun (to be filled with
acid-spiked Kool-Aid), dust mask, gas mask,
Hannibal Lecter mask, big fuzzy leg warmers.
Parade Route: "Dance Without Borders" float
This group is projecting a global vibe, even though several of
its DJs -- including DJ Icey, Edgar V., and the team of Oscar G and
Ralph Falcon (aka Murk) -- are from Florida. Find Sunshine State
shitkicker Baby Anne, who donned dominatrix gear on the cover of
last year's electro/breakbeat mix-CD Mixtress, and ask her to
beat you within an inch of your life. Extra points for
bruises bigger than a breadbox.
Parade Route: "Summer Madness" float
This float is sponsored by Papas & Beer of Ensenada, Mexico.
Find out once and for all what the hell "papas" are, then
stuff a few in your pockets.
Parade Route: "The Unimog" float
Local promoters Space Cowboys present a float inspired by their
Unimog project at Burning Man, which finds them driving a mobile
sound system around Black Rock City with the word "RIPE" written in
orange on their booties. Persuade one of the Cowboys to brand
your ass-cheeks similarly.
Parade Route: light pole
Nope, this isn't a float. It's an actual light pole. Revelers at
the original Love Parade in Berlin were known for their ability to
scale high traffic signals and perch atop. Climb one along the
Market Street route and fall off it. Don't forget to keep your
"The Official Love Parade San Francisco Afterparty," Saturday,
Sept. 24, at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium
After the parade's done, the afterparty kicks into gear,
featuring three stages of house, breakbeat, trance, and drum 'n'
bass from some of the most famous DJs in the world, including Carl
Cox, Goldie, DJ Dan, John B, Markus Schulz, and Ferry Corsten. Event
capacity is an intimate 10,000, so you should have no problem
finding yourself a browbeaten candy-flipper lit up on four hits
of Windowpane. Convince this person he's your pet alligator and
take him home with you.
*Warning: SF Weekly and its underwriters take no
responsibility for any and all health or legal problems experienced
by participants in the official Love Week Scavenger Hunt (LWSH),
which is not a real thing, nor intended to be treated as such. While
no actual prizes will be awarded, it is true that John Mecklin loves